“See You Later!”

Recently I started reading more about mental health and different ways to help people with the things they live with. I came across a group called To Write Love On Her Arms, and they were advertising a new campaign for suicide prevention. They are calling it “We’ll See You Tomorrow.” this is from their website:

“Above all else, we choose to stay. We choose to fight the darkness and the sadness, to fight the questions and the lies and the myth of all that’s missing. We choose to stay, because we are stories still going. Because there is still some time for things to turn around, time for surprises and for change. We stay because no one else can play our part.

Life is worth living.

We’ll see you tomorrow.”

This hit me in just the right way to get me started on another post here.

I live with some health issues, and something i have lived with for years is depression. It’s gone out in different directions at times, and over the years I have found ways to deal with it. It still happens and it still sucks, but in the end, I have found myself at peace with a lot of the sad/scary/bad/hurty things that have been a part of my life.

At one point I was struggling so much. I found myself in such a dark place that I didn’t know if I’d ever get out of it. I didn’t know who to talk to about it. I had just gotten my drivers license and drove to Virginia to see Bill, who was at the time attending UVA. I had a major breakdown while visiting him, telling him how sad I was and how much i was hurting in my head. How much i didn’t want to live any more. Bill promised me that he would help me, and he gave me ideas and suggestions to maybe see a doctor and get some help. But the one thing we agreed on that day was that every time I would get those feelings, that i would call him and we would always say “see you later” instead of “good bye”, meaning that I would be ok and not attempt to hurt myself in any way. That I was choosing to fight the darkness and the sadness. I wanted my story to keep going. And my amazing brother helped me keep fighting, even when he was in dark places. Even when he was working ay Ground Zero, he checked in on me. Over the years as he got more and more ill, He was always checking in. Always saying See You Later!

The last time I saw him, we said it in person one last time. I didn’t think it would end like that. When I received that final Christmas card from he and Jen on the day he died, it said in one corner “SYL” ❤

I know I will see him later, one day.

In honor of Bill, and to help raise awareness and maybe help someone, I’m sharing this information here because things like this helped me at some very dark times. I will Always Keep Fighting (thanks, SPN Family) and I thank everyone who helped me through it, especially you, Billy.